When we look back it is always to our first love. The innocence of first love makes it exquisite. The world is new, everything is new, the experience of first love is like no other.

This does not mean, however, that it is always sweet. We place more trust in our first love than we should, regardless of rationality or logic. He's often unjustifiably placed on a pedestal- and his words count for too much. With time though, all becomes clearer.

Heartache, though, is a rite of passage we must go through in order to fully understand the vicissitudes of love..

NEED to stop whining. Whining isn't going to get anywhere. NEED to be more proactive.

Only now can I see what he meant. I guess I really AM slow.

Boooooooooo. School has only started for a week and things have been crazy. I've basically been kept busy from 9am-10pm for the past few days and its dead tiring. :(

I feel like just lounging around for the entire weekend but won't have the luxury of doing so..

2 pieces of good news though. I passed my math 241 placement- no more calc!! :) and finally got into dual. :)

Feeling slightly more positive. :D

Happy New Year!

Frohes Neu Jahr! :) Spent New Year's eve (Silvester) in Cologne with a bunch of Singaporeans including lovely xizhen who brought us around Cologne and Aachen. We counted down along the Rhein amidst self-fired fireworks. There were so many of them that it seemed as though it was an organized fireworks display. :) The enthusiam about Silvester is kinda contagious, but the debris that was left the next day is slightly disturbing. Broken beer bottles strewn on the streets, remnants of fireworks which have been set off.. We're now in snowy Berlin. Trekking through the city with the snow coming down strong is a rather interesting experience. It does snow in philly- but never as strong as this. Berlin still feels oh-so-familiar, despite my almost 5 months abscence. I guess I can now say that it is my favourtie German city of all. Nuremberg, Heidelberg, Bonn and Munich might be pretty, but none of them are as interesting and diverse as Berlin is. :D

I've 2 new year resolutions, which I vow to keep this time.
1) to forget him
2) to study hard and find an internship

:( hard work is required, I'd say.

Deutschland!

Ich liebe Deutschland! ;) Had an overdose of sausages, beer, ice cream, dried apples and all sorts of sweet stuff! :)) Shopping in Germany is great, as usual. Bought some stuff at massimo dutti and mango, but shall restraint till I get back to Munich on the 8th and can shop for real. :D Zara's really cheap! And I found a lovely coat at UCB that they're willing to hold for me till I get back.. Why can't shopping in the states be as good as this?? Despite the strong euro and the lousy exchange rate..

Done!

It's all over. Ended finals yday. It does feel kinda strange to not have to study. :D

He's leavingggggg. :(

On a brighter note, nyc trip today! :)

It seems as though no time at all has past since the start of the semester.. so much has happened, but yet it appears surreal that it's now the reading days. Finals will be over in no time at all, and what have I accomplished thus far? That's a good question. I guess at least I can say that I now know myself better. ;) That seems to be about it though..

I should really be concentrating on studying, but then again, when have I really concentrated on studying?

Drats. I still care even though I pretend I don't.

I NEED to FOCUS. Finals are just around the corner and I really NEED to do well but WHY AM I NOT STUDYING???? :(

thanksgiving

This year I am grateful for:

1) My lovely roommates and gina who keep me grounded
2) Not being in a r/s I'm unhappy in
3) Joan- my "big sis"
4) Frannie visiting for thanksgiving
5) My lovely new coach bag :)
6) Having a manageable amount of schoolwork :(next sem is gonna be so bad ):
7) My lovely pals in singapore who offered tons of support
8) Boon who said I could call him anytime at all- and wasn't upset when I woke him up at 7am on his off day
9)Mar mar my utterly lovable darling
10) Ben and russ who tried so hard to lighten things up

:( I hate it when others comment about my driving, but I suppose it might have been really bad today. Driving at 4am without sleep is never a good idea, but then again, why couldn't he have been more understanding???

I guess I'm now feeling better. Small little everyday things are starting to make me smile again. There was this guy who went back to catch the door open for me after he has walked through it when he realized that I was going to go through it. It's a really small thing, but it somehow cheered me up when I notice people being nice to strangers. It's just small little touches like this that make the world the nice place I like to envision it as.

I am sick sick sick of studying. Not that I've been doing much of that though. I get distracted more often than not and end up going out for dessert instead, as evidenced by the last 2 nights. :P Or second dinners. ahhhhhh. I need to start doing more work and eating less before I turn into a pig.

Anyways. Yday night was fun. :) White dog with the gals- our first this sem with all 3 of us present.. and standing out in the cold chatting after that is sth I'd rmbr for some time still. :P

I've had a rather strange encounter today. I was studying in the bookstore.. and this pair came up to me asking me for help with math. The guy apparently remembers me from calc class.. and asked if I could help with his friend's stat qn.. Haha. I guess I'm not as invisible as I seem to think that I am..

It's not easy to face up to the cold harsh truth, but one is definitely better off doing so. There are certain moments and feelings I miss and will treasure in a way, but I recognize that I'm better off. I need to feel motivated if I still want to do well this semester.

No more nua-ing around!

It's over. Mixed feelings abound, but I'm okay- I think. :)

I wish things could be as simple as they used to be.

Here are some pictures taken yesterday. :) I've been too lazy to bring my camera around for most of the semester thus far.. so these are pretty much all I've taken this sem. School has been kinda crazy. I dun like math. Not anymore. 5 math intensive classes is just BAD. :( Other than that, life's good though. :) Fall break's in 2 weeks!!


In the subway..
Patou, where we had dinner. It was really sub-par.
My favourite gals at Patou.

:)Gina and I in our coordinating black and white outfits.Guys and sparklers at the clubsg mid-autumn festival celebration after dinner.

Been back at penn for about a week. My room's nicely done up now, albeit kinda messy with the unpacking not 100% done. School's kinda mad. :( On the bright side, I did well for both my history finals. :)

Yay. I'm finally all done with finals; no more history in the near future as far as I can see.. :)) Just loads of social science and engineering classes. Hmm. That doesn't sound too good either.

I'm feeling kinda pensive, about leaving Berlin and Germany.. and going to France and Spain where I'd feel totally lost with regards to the language. The past month in Germany has been great, although I didn't actually get to improve my German much since all my classmates speak English and my German interactions are limited to shopkeepers and strangers on the road. :( I feeeeel rusty.

Anyways, I'd be back in 2 weeks with loads of interesting photos! :D

Belated national day post

Happy National Day, Singapore! :) Hehe. Wanted to get the pics uploaded before I write this , but was too lazy to upload pics, so.. :P My memory's not so bad that I can't rmbr when National Day is k..Here's what I wore on 9th August.. National colours! ;)
This is a monster which actually moves and make noise when a euro coin is inserted.. My prof inserted a coin n we enjoyed the ensuing "performance"..
Rainy rainy munich.. :(( It was so GREY the whole day.
Inside the Five Courtyards.. it's filled with luxury brands.. all the pretty lights! :)
Elisabethmarkt at Elizabethplatz.. the student's equivalent of Viktualienmarkt near Marienplatz..
Our really uncomfortable nachtzug from Berlin to Munich..
Weisswurst for breakfast! :D
A view of Sendlingerstrasse through Sendlingertor.
Wurstsalat for lunch.. (yes, I do know that I'm ODing on sausages. XP)
Munich's really pretty once the rain stopped; which it did for a while at night..

Ahhhhh. Finals are tml and on thursday. The summer semester is drawing to a close really quickly.. :((( I DO NOT like history finals. The mugging is CRAZY. :(((

I've just gotten back from heidelberg and it's really pretty! :) Shall let the photos speak for themselves..

Shubs and I on Hauptstrasse, the main shopping street in heidelberg.
3 happy gals enjoying the sunshine..
Shubs and I at the Schloss area overlooking the Neckaer river..
Yh and I on the bridge..